How to start the money conversation?

If you've never quite known how to bring up money with your child, you're not alone. Research from MoneyHelper found that only 54% of parents with a child aged 11 to 17 talk openly with them about money. For most parents, the missing piece is knowing where to start.

The advice that stops short

Search for this topic online and you'll find good general guidance: be open about money, lead by example, talk about needs versus wants. All excellent advice. What's harder to find is the one thing that matters most in the moment: what do you say in the first thirty seconds? That's the gap Money Talks at Home is built to close: a conversation, ready to run tonight, at the kitchen table.

Where to begin

Many parents wait to feel ready before they start: finances in order, the right words prepared. Tonight doesn't ask for any of that. It's the first of several short conversations, so nothing needs to be complete and nothing needs to be perfect. If this is the first time you and your child have spoken directly about money, you can just say so, and let them know there's more to come. Think of it as opening a door your child can walk through at their own pace, one they can walk back through again next time.

The question that opens things up

Once the scene is set, use this opener to get your child talking:

“If you had £500 right now, what would you do with it?”

Let them answer freely. They might name something they want, somewhere they'd go, something they'd save for, or something completely unexpected. Whatever they say, treat it as useful. There's no wrong answer here, because the question isn't really testing what they'd buy. It's opening up how they think about choice.

Once they've answered, that's your way in. Use it to introduce the idea underneath the whole conversation: money gives people choices, and the real skill is learning to make those choices clearly.

From here, a natural next step is showing them that some money already has a job before the fun choices begin (phone data, travel, food, the things that get paid for first), which quietly shifts the conversation from “what would I buy” to “what's left to choose with.” That's where the real decision-making starts, and it's exactly what the rest of Conversation 1 walks through, with a worked example you can use straight away.

Tonight, in twenty minutes

If your own relationship with money isn't where you'd like it to be, that's not a reason to wait. Nothing here asks you to be an expert, only to ask one open question and listen to the answer. That's the whole first move.

This is the exact opener used in Conversation 1: Spending With Purpose, free to download in full. It takes about 20 minutes, needs no preparation beyond a quick read, and the rest of the Money Talks at Home series builds from here, one short conversation at a time.

Try Conversation 1, free →

A few questions parents ask before starting

What if I'm not confident with money myself?

You don't need to be. The conversation is built to work whatever your own relationship with money looks like. Guiding it takes curiosity more than expertise.

What age should I start having conversations like this?

Children start learning about money young, but the stakes and the questions get more real between 11 and 14, as pocket money, spending choices, and peer pressure all increase. That's why this series is built specifically for that age.

How long does this take?

About 20 minutes. No homework, no prep beyond a short read beforehand.

What if they don't want to talk?

That's normal, and it's part of why the opener matters. A specific, open question like the £500 one tends to get further than “we need to talk about money,” which can land as a lecture before it's even started.

Sources: MoneyHelper / Money and Pensions Service, “Up to 4 million parents keep mum on money matters,” 2021 Financial Wellbeing Survey.